November 11, 2008
You Don’t Know What You Don’t Know
Each of us, whether we are parents, coaches, or athletes, enters into a sport season with some kind of expectations.
Athletes expect to learn, have fun, improve athletic skills (especially specific position skills), perhaps get faster and stronger, increase knowledge of the particular sport we are competing in, and hopefully become contributors to the team’s success.
Coaches enter a season also hoping to learn, to win some games, have fun, develop and nurture relationships with the athletes, make improvements in the ’program’, improve the athletic skills of the athletes, and develop a team full of unselfish players.
Parents expect that their young athletes will be treated well, provided quality instruction, be led by positive role models, given fair opportunities to participate, and in general have a positive experience.
Most teams have experiences in which many of the expectations are met, but perhaps some are not. Sometimes when our expectations don’t seem to be being met, we tend to place blame on somebody else. What is usually the case, though, is that we most often don’t know all the details to place blame appropriately. Sometimes there is literally nobody to blame for anything, but because we don’t know what we don’t know, blame is directed and negative thoughts and feelings prevail in somebody’s mind.
What are some of the things we don’t know?
Well, coaches don’t always know how hard an athlete works away from his/her time with the team, or that the athlete isn’t getting enough rest or nutrition due to conditions in the home, or that a parent is putting too much pressure on the kid at home.
Parents don’t usually know what is happening at practices, how hard the players work during conditioning or in the weight room, whether or not their child acts selfishly when the parents are not around, or the dialogue that has taken place between the coach(es) and player(s).
The athletes themselves are usually the ones who know more about the entire picture than anyone else, but due to their ages, they sometimes don’t have the maturity of the interpersonal skills to completely communicate with teammates, coaches, and parents.
Bottom line is that next time you think you have the solution to what you perceive as a problem, just remember that you don’t know what you don’t know!
Communicating With Your Athlete After Competition
Below is part of an article written by Larry Lauer, PhD, Michigan State University in a publication for the Association for Applied Sport Psychology, there is some wise advice for parents of youth and high school athletes.
1. Be a positive source of support and encouragement. Save the critical evaluation of player performance for your coaches, they are the experts. Be an unconditional source of support. Criticism will break down parent-child bonds.
2. Be an attentive listener! We all love to explain our competitive experiences to others, so allow your child to talk about the game. Listen to understand first, and then reply.
3. Along those same lines, allow your child to start conversations about their performance. Try not to get into the details of the game as your child is still dealing with the emotions of it. If this is later that night or the next morning that is okay. They may just need time to get over it. If you do feel the need to speak to them about the game then wait a few hours and then ask “Would you like to talk about the game?”
4. Avoid undermining the coaching staff in post-game conversations, even if you think your coaches are out to lunch. You may not always agree with the coaches, but they are the leaders of the team. Second-guessing the coaches in front of your child can confuse him or her as to what he or she should do and ultimately may hurt performance. Also, you are undermining team chemistry and negatively affecting each person involved with that team.
5. Following tough losses or poor performances (or riding the pine) remind your child that their worth as a person is not related to their abilities as an athlete. Helping them recognize that tomorrow is a new day and that with hard work they can overcome what is keeping them from their goals will help your child deal with the frustrations of sport.
6. Be honest and sincere. Some parents get into trouble by saying “good game” or “you did your best.” If Billy does not think this is true you are going to get a sneer or sarcastic remark back. Be supportive in your comments but do not lie or exaggerate. Children will see through your well-intentioned attempt to support. If you attempt to hide your disapproval for your child’s performance your body language will signal the truth. Remembering that the goal of sport is to have fun and improve should help you in providing positive support and maintaining positive body language.
7. Stick to your normal routine no matter the outcome of the game. If you go to lunch after a win, do the same after a loss. Otherwise, your child might relate the activities after the game with winning and losing.
8. Avoid comparing your child to other children even as it relates to training methods or skills. It can create hurt feelings and pressure.
Some basics about a long toss program for baseball and softball players
Developing arm strength, or in other words, developing velocity, is just one reason to incorporate long tossing into your throwing development. Players also do long toss to increase their throwing endurance, to improve the use of the lower body and the core in throwing, and for pitchers to learn how to keep their fast ball arm speed while using changeup grips.
The mechanics of proper long toss technique are simple, but extremely important. When the athlete reaches approximately 90ft. (or about 60 ft. for pre high school players) they will begin to crow hop long toss. The crow hop should be similar to that of an outfielder. Variations can be used. The key is that when the distance is increased we are throwing with our lower half so that the pressure is decreased in our arm. The path of the baseball in long toss should be on a line. It does us no good to lob the baseball, or give an unrelated baseball arch to the throw. Our goal is to keep the baseball head high. This is very difficult but is something to strive for on every long toss day. When you have reached your max distance, you should extend yourself a few feet further so that the ball bounces to your partner. Extending yourself so that the ball must bounce to your partner will ensure maximum distance; it increases arm strength and keeps the ball at a desired height. Our goal is to get to a max distance where the ball bounces to our partner. The next time we long toss we should try to extend ourselves further than the time before, and so on. Good rhythm and tempo should not be sacrificed because we are at long distances. This is important in everything we do and should be maintained in our long toss.
GT Athletic Consulting & Baseball Instruction
Gordie Theisen: gtathletic@hotmail.com / 517-605-1253
Eric Theisen: emtheisen@hotmail.com / 517-605-0109