HOW IMPORTANT IS WINNING?
Just how important is winning? Are there other priorities in youth sports that some might
consider to be just as important or even more so than winning? Where do we place
winning on our list of priorities when we are involved in youth sports. What are we
sacrificing in order to win? Can we make winning a priority without devaluing other
important aspects of our children’s involvement in youth sports?
My perception of youth athletics is that some coaches tend to place more value in
winning than the most of the athletes and parents. It often appears that coaches feel more
successful if their teams win. Perhaps our definitions of success can help us put winning
in perspective, but chances are we all have our own definition of success when it comes
to youth athletic teams.
Most of us would probably agree that winning is less important for young children’s
teams than it is for the older ones. But at what age do we cross that line? I recently
spoke with a high school athlete who told me that in her opinion it is more important for
her team to try its best than it is to win. When posed another question, she said that she
would prefer losing a game if her team gave a great effort, as opposed to winning a game
in which the team’s effort was not good.
I have coached for several years, and I concur with those thoughts.
This same athlete said that by attending the Saints Basketball Camp as a child, she
learned from Coach Fred Smith, one of the most successful coaches ever in Lenawee
County, that “Winning is not everything.” Most of the coaches at higher levels who send
that kind of message are the coaches who lose a lot of games. Fred Smith’s teams rarely
lose games and almost annually win championships and are rated very high in national
rankings.
Hopefully the youth and high school coaches in our area are on the same page as Coach
Smith. We can not really know where winning is in the priorities of our children’s
coaches unless they actually verbalize it. It is possible that we perceive youth coaches as
being too focused on winning when we see them get upset at their young athletes.
Perhaps it isn’t the scoreboard that is causing the coaches to show lots of emotion during
games. The emotional outbursts may actually be due to the behaviors of our kids rather
than the results of their efforts, or lack of effort.
One question to be asked is, “If winning is not the priority, then what is?”
I can think of several things that are more important than winning a game, an event, or a
championship. Some of those things are character development, pride in effort,
selflessness, positive selfimage,mental toughness (being able to handle bumps in the
road), confidence, respect for teammates and opponents, respect for the sport, etc. The
list can go on and on. If these attributes are being developed in our young athletes, then
does it really matter if they win a game or lose a game? Is it really important if they won
last year’s championship? Does what happened last year, or yesterday, even matter
anymore?
When your child comes home from an athletic event after winning, are they a better
person because of the victory? On the other hand, if they lose the event, do you love
them any less than if they would have won?
Our kids can learn so many positive, important things through their participation in
sports, but they aren’t going to learn them just because of their participation. They will
learn these great things that will carry them through their lifetimes because of the
influences they have gotten from their teammates, from their coaches, and from their
parents.
They will learn great things from the feedback they get when they win, and when they
lose. We parents are crucial in the development of our kids and their responses to
individual achievements and team success, and their reactions to athletic adversity and
disappointment. The coaches of our children play a huge role in that, too!!
The next time you sit in the stands and feel yourself getting angry because you believe
the coach is not doing what you think he should do to win the game, check your thoughts
and remember that there is more to the game than just winning. I don’t think most of us
would sacrifice some of our most important values just for the sake of winning a game.